Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Where the Fuck are the Tweezers?!?


Bubba is holding his paw up.  I realize he’s gotten a glass splinter from the glass I dropped last week.  I swept and mopped the area, then got a couple splinters myself. Meant to mop thoroughly but, forgot until just now.

I have at least five pairs of tweezers somewhere in the house.  I have been walking around in circles for days looking for them because my face is so hairy.  Bubba’s injured paw causes me to look again.

I look in the hall closet – what a mess!  I should put all of these cleaner bottles in one basket.  A basket with a handle, like the hotel maids have.  Brilliant!  Pull out all cleaners and put them in the hallway to remind me to get a basket.

I look under the bathroom sink – OMG it is WET!  I must have a leak?  Pull half of the stuff out, then leave it all over the bathroom floor when I realize Im supposed to be looking for tweezers.  Stay on task Jones.

Go into the office/guest room/storage room.  Hey!  That is exactly what I have been looking for!  A bill sorter!  Yay Laura!  I can cross that off my list.  I’ll go sort my mail right now so it’s done.

Oh – I wanted to see if I could find those Lowes gift cards I have somewhere….  Hey!  Here’s the photos from the Turks and Caicos!  OMG so funny, I should make Laura a collage.  Flip through 3 rolls and pull out the photos for the collage.  Stack them neatly on top of the corner-pile on my desk.

Bubba limps in….  shit.  Tweezers.  Right.  Maybe they are in this suitcase?  Nope, its empty.  Oh!  Yay!  This basket would be perfect for the cleaning supplies… dump the contents on the floor - then reject it because it doesn’t have a handle.

I can’t find tweezers.  I’ve looked for days.  I’ll bring the bill sorter out and do that.  Place it on the stove.  Oh I could use some coffee…dump the old coffee.  Hey how bout some tunes?  Park it in front of the PC to select a playlist.

Yes that’s better.  Now, what was I doing?  I don’t know…  I need to sort all these to do lists, I know!  I’ll make an excel spreadsheet.  What should the column headers be?  GAWD I’m so bored!  I hate this!  Stare at the ceiling for 5 minutes and space out.

I need to fold that laundry in the dryer from last week…  yawn.  Its so nice out!  I should take Bubba to the dog park…  crap.  He’s on 3 legs.  Glass splinter.  Mop the floors. NOW.


I’ll just check my email first….  Oh I have those 150.00 Target gift cards!  Look for a small desk at target.com… wait stop, finish that order on sallybeauty.com for the notching shears.  Go get credit card, focus focus focus just finish one thing, just one thing.  Omg I love this song!  Space out for another 5 minutes, hating myself and my life because I can’t get a flipping thing done….  Tell myself to start a diary and list daily achievements for moments like these…  I should also put food, sleep, and emotional state in there… oh meds too…  I think I have a blank journal somewhere in the office… oh fuck it.  This place is a mess, I will never find it.   It’s too damn much.  

I’m such a loser. Poor Bubba.  I’m such a bad Mommy.


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